Posts Tagged ‘Megan Fox hot’



September 22, 2011

Notes from the back row. Sept 12

Transformers 3 made over $765 million overseas, Imagine how much more that would be if megan fox had stayed in the picture...

I’ve met a lot of rude, shitty Europeans in my life (and by ‘met” I mean served food to) but the truth is there are lots of good ones too and Hollywood, more than ever, needs that Euro touch.
The way Hollywood operates is to go after sure things. That kind of makes sense with millions, potentially billions of dollars on the line, but it means they churn out sequels, remakes and franchises based on properties with built-in fanbases (comic books like Avengers, teenage-bodice-rippers like Twilight, literary phenoms like Harry Potter.)
Hollywood also loves dumbed-down movies of recognizable shit they know is not too difficult for the foreign (non-english speaking) market to understand. For example- 2012, the underwhelming apocalyptic movie that will never be cool unless the world does actually end next year? It made $166 Million domestically and $603 Million overseas! Transformers 3? Domestic grosses¬— a decent $350 Million (without Megan Fox,) overseas— $765 Million smackers. Even Avatar the biggest movie ever took $760 Million at home, over $2 Billion away. The sad truth is that Hollywood doesn’t really need to worry about the domestic audience.
And why should they? The domestic audience is pretty useless anyhow— we are afraid to spend our money on anything we aren’t familiar with (not you and I, dear reader, but almost everyone else living amongst us.) We too, like to go with the perceived sure thing– these days sequels and remakes.
Take The Hurt Locker – not mind-blowing, but it won the Best Picture Oscar yet grossed a measly $17 Mil domestically, a quarter as much as Transformers 3 made at your local cinema (without Megan Fox.)
After suffering through a summer of American movies as appealing as a colonoscopy delivered by Andre the Giant (who was 7-foot-4 and had fingers the size of Japanese eggplants) Hollywood is in dire need of some fresh, cultured, intelligent blood. That same attitude that makes Euros poor tippers at the restaurant helps them make superior films in the cinema–They don’t give a shit what we think, they do what they want and they make movies with that zest of creative passion.
Drive, directed by a Dane, Nicholas Winding Refn, opens Friday and stars Canadian Ryan Gosling (The Notebook, Lars and the Real Girl) as ‘Driver” a lonely loner whe drives for a living, a shady living. He gets mixed up, thanks to love, in a foul scheme and it’s all quiet, tonal awesomeness and balls-out bloody “F#ck Yeah” from there on in.
“WingDing” Refn brings a ultra-composed raw aesthetic that’s stripped down, patient and quiet like Beat Takeshi’s Kids Return or Antonioni’s Blow Up, but with big, sloppy exit wounds and gallons of sprayed blood, not to mention some doozy car chases. Drive isn’t perfect, Carey Mulligan (An Education) gets saddled with a weakfish love-interest role but for the most part Refn its damn entertaining and refreshing to see someone take a new (if hyper-violent) approach to a classic idea.
Fear not though, American film is not dead, watch Scorcese, Tartantino or the Coen Brothers for proof. And Canadians are always on the rise —Michael Dowse’s Fubar 1 and 2 belong in a time capsule to explain “earth” to alien civilizations, and his latest, a hockey flick called Goon was a huge hit last week at the Toronto International Film Festival.
But the beautiful continent of Europe, with directors like Joe Wright (Hanna) Pedro Almodovar (An Education) and Tomas Alfredson (Let the Right One In) continue to breath new life into our broad-audience-appeal-based film industry. We colonialists could learn a thing or two and here’s hoping the Euros keep sending their films our way.


notes from the back row- Toys, a big dog and TV vs Movies. Oh, and Megan Fox

June 18, 2010

Notes form the back row, jun 15/2010

My favourite hollywood shit-talker, Megan Fox stars in Jonah Hex, opening Friday

One of the good things about this June-uary weather is catching up on DVD-released TV series. Breaking Bad is about a down-and-out high school Chemistry teacher who decides to start cooking meth for money. Combining killer dark comedy with some pretty good drama, Breaking Bad, much like the subject matter, is addictive as hell. It’s also the DVDs of the Week.

TV in general has been enjoying a golden age lately. Starting with The Sopranos and/or shows like 24, The Wire, Lost, Entourage and Sex and The City, it’s no surprise that in Entertainment Weekly’s recent list of the “100 Greatest Characters of the Past 20 Years” 8 of the top 15 were TV characters. Granted it is easier to flesh out a good character over a 20+ episode arc rather than just an hour and half, but regardless Hollywood is hurting these days.

And to help them out US authorities have authourized an online stock-exchange program where, starting in August, traders can gamble on the potential box office profits of unreleased films. The idea being that people will be able to make money off films even if they suck, by trading/betting on just how much they will suck. Box office receipts as a commodity like oil or timber?? Sounds ridiculous and most major film studios are opposed from the start, but I guess even Wall Street is running out of ideas. I don’t see how any of this will make for better movies as Tinsletown remains bogged in sequel/remake/franchise territory.

First up at the Village 8 this week, Jonah Hex, an adaptation of the popular occult-western comic book. Director Jimmy Hayward (Horton Hears a Who) has assembled an all-star cast of Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Will Arnet and Michael Fassbender to bring life to the story of a bounty hunter with a grudge (and horse-mounted gatling guns) out to save the world or something. There were no pre-screenings for this one and the kids on the internet are claiming “boring” and “meanders aimlessly” but I’m going to check it out anyhow because Jonah Hex has a dynamite-stick crossbow and heavy metal band Mastodon did the score. Also Megan Fox, recently fired from Transformers 3, stars as a gun-toting prostitute (the best kind really.) Go with low expectations.

Speaking of low, Marmaduke, a film based on that bottom-of-the-barrel old comic strip you used to skip over in the funny papers, is now a feature film. Owen Wilson stars as a talking Great Dane with a penchant for farting and Emma Stone (Zombieland) voices his love interest. Even the great William H Macy (Boogie Nights, Fargo) somehow found his way into the mix. Despite all the talent, Marmaduke stinks worse than the garbage bin at the dog park, the one crammed with little bags of festering dog shit from a hundred different sources. I don’t care if it’s Father’s Day and you absolutely have to take junior to the pictures, avoid this at all costs.

A much better Father’s Day experience can be had at Toy Story 3 (playing in 3D, but not in Whistler) a flick that literally fights the idea that kids grow out of their toys. While not as epic as last year’s Up or classics like Monsters Inc, Toy Story 3 is still a Pixar film and they always deliver, this time with a slightly underwhelming adventure tale about life changes, transitions, and the value of loyalty.

Incidentally, Toy Story’s “Woody” is 25 on the 100 Greatest Characters list, four spots ahead of Vincent Vega and Jules Winfield from Pulp Fiction. TV’s Homer Simpson took top honours.

you can never have too much Fox.

this one never gets old.